10 Tips To Help You Deal With Rude Patients As A Nurse


Written By: Madison Smith


Nursing is a wonderful career filled with opportunities to meet and care for others. Unfortunately, there will be days when everything is not perfect, and you will have patients who are challenging to deal with. As nurses, we understand that the nature of our work sometimes involves dealing with patients who feel frightened, anxious, overwhelmed, and vulnerable, which can lead to them acting rudely. In the interest of being professional, poor patient behavior may leave you wondering, “Can someone tell me how to deal with rude patients as a nurse?”

I totally understand what you are thinking and feeling! Having been a nurse for more than 20 years, I have had many experiences with patients who were anything but kind. As you continue reading this article, you will find 10 tips to help you deal with rude patients as a nurse that I have learned over the years. While you cannot change someone else’s behavior, you can learn approaches to their behavior that may ease anxiety or tension and promote better outcomes for everyone involved.



How to Deal With Rude Patients as a Nurse?

(The following are the 10 tips to help you deal with rude patients as a nurse.)


TIP #1: Acknowledge the Situation

The first step to take to deal with rude patients as a nurse is to acknowledge the situation. Keep in mind that, even during happy occasions, such as the birth of a new baby, patients can experience different stress levels and react differently. Let your patient know that you understand they are upset and that you are there to assist them. Sometimes, all it takes is a kind word of reassurance to change the whole tone of a patient’s personality or the way they respond to you.


TIP #2: Take a Moment to Gather Your Thoughts and Become Calm

Another of the first things you should do when dealing with rude patients is to take a moment to gather your thoughts and become calm. If your patient is being rude, chances are there is already tension in the air, and you do not want to add to it by reacting too quickly. If possible, you may find stepping outside of the patient’s room for a moment helps you clear your mind. However, avoid doing so abruptly, as this could make the situation worse. Just take a deep breath, think about the situation, and gather your thoughts before responding to their behavior.


TIP #3: Listen to the Patient’s Perspective

Have you or a loved one ever been sick, and it left you feeling worried, afraid, or even angry? One thing that can make matters worse is when it seems no one cares about what you are going through. An important tip you can follow to help you deal with rude patients as a nurse is to listen to the patient’s perspective.

To get your patient’s perspective, try asking open-ended questions, which give them the opportunity to explain their thoughts and feelings instead of cutting them short with a simple "yes" or "no" question. Ask what they are feeling and what they would like you to do to help them feel better. I don't want to sound repetitive, but I truly cannot express enough how important your response to their behavior is in helping de-escalate a tense situation, often leading to a better attitude from your patients.


TIP #4: Avoid Acting Defensive

If you know anything about people who are upset or acting out, you probably know that acting defensively toward them could only make their behavior worse. While it is natural to want to defend yourself or prove a point, learning to deal with rude patients as a nurse sometimes requires looking at the bigger picture and realizing that defending yourself may not be the best solution to every situation.

I had a patient years ago who seemed to be angry at the whole world, and I had no idea why. If I told him to have a good day, he would say, “Don’t worry; I won’t.” If I complimented him and said he looked nice, he would say, “What do you want?” More than anything, he loved to argue and make accusations about nurses and nursing assistants not doing their jobs. Even when I knew for certain that my team had completed tasks, he would argue and say they did not.

It can be frustrating when patients are rude, and it can be even worse when you feel like they are trying to make your job difficult or make you look bad. At the end of the day, I encourage you to remember that whatever their reason for acting that way, your response to their behavior can make a huge difference in the outcome of the situation. By avoiding being defensive, you remove any opportunity for continued accusations and arguments.


TIP #5: Try to Empathize with the Patient

When you must deal with rude patients as a nurse, it can be frustrating. Even the most level-headed or calm nurses can feel overwhelmed, especially if the patient’s behavior is extreme or habitual. Despite the frustration, one thing that can influence how your patient acts toward you or responds to you is whether you try to empathize with them.

Empathy is simply an act of being aware or sensitive to the thoughts, experiences, and feelings of someone else. It involves a willingness to demonstrate pity and understanding toward your patients. Keep in mind that, even some of the rudest patients may have underlying things going on that have led to this behavior. So, be empathetic as much as possible.


TIP #6: Set Boundaries

While there are many reasons that lead to rude patient behavior, I have learned one thing that seems to spark a negative attitude is when demanding patients do not get the attention they want, when they want it. I experienced this behavior a lot working in long-term care facilities, especially with patients who had few or no family and friends to visit them. Once you identify your patient's reason for being rude, you can establish boundaries for what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

In some cases, you may need to discuss a timeline of when they can expect you to provide care or perform a specific task. If your patient is overly demanding, you may have to establish firm boundaries and redefine your responsibilities and expectations. Above all, patience and understanding, even when setting boundaries, are essential.


TIP #7: Mind Your Body Language

Your body language plays a critical role in interactions with your patients. Depending on the type of body language you project, your patients may feel a sense of comfort, care, support, and reassurance. However, if your body language is standoffish, it could reflect disinterest, irritation, or frustration, which could add to the patient’s stress and lead to worsening behavior.

When I have a patient who is rude or out-of-sorts, I try to exhibit positive body language, and you can, too. A few ways to show positive body language include smiling and maintaining eye contact. Practice therapeutic communication by actively listening, which you can demonstrate by nodding your head and being attentive to what they say. Also, take a moment to pull up a chair and sit by your patient for a few minutes. It makes them feel less rushed and may encourage them to engage in open conversations with you.


TIP #8: Determine the True Source of the Problem So It Can Be Addressed or Resolved

No matter what, your main priority when trying to deal with rude patients as a nurse should be to determine the source of the problem so you can help resolve it. When you show a willingness to work with a patient to get to the root of a problem, it sets the stage to find a resolution and helps build a therapeutic nurse-patient relationship. Once a therapeutic relationship is established, it becomes easier to handle challenges as they arise.


TIP #9: Keep Your Word!

You can take every tip I have given you up to this point to deal with rude patients as a nurse, but if you do not follow through and keep your word, you could end up with a worse situation than what you had to begin with. I remember what a mentor told me once, years ago, when I worked in marketing. He said, "Under-promise and over-deliver." Basically, what he was trying to tell me is that it is always okay to give someone more than they expect or ask for, but we should never promise something we are not 100% sure we can deliver.

The same goes for establishing relationships with patients, especially when you must deal with those whose behaviors and attitudes are less than attractive. If you tell your patient you will help resolve the problem, or if you come to an agreement to help remedy the situation, always keep your word.


TIP #10: Know When It Is Time to Ask for Help

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a “fixer.” If anyone has a problem and comes to me, you can believe I am going to do everything I can to make things better. As a nurse, I think it is just part of who we are to want to fix things and make things better, don’t you?

While wanting to handle situations or work through problems independently is sometimes a good idea and can be effective, you must be willing to admit when you need help. If you try to work with your patients and they continue to act rudely, or their behavior becomes worse, it may be time to look for guidance from a supervisor. Having worked in leadership and dealt with situations when patients were rude to staff, I advise discreetly talking to your supervisor and letting them help you handle the situation. That way, unnecessary people are not involved in any disagreements, which could worsen the situation. Also, the fewer people that are involved, the less threatened the patient will feel.



My Final Thoughts


If you have been a nurse for any time, chances are, you have encountered a rude patient or two. Although nursing is a profession known for caring and giving to others, that does not mean that nurses need to be treated poorly. When faced with patients whose behavior is not polite, it can make you wonder how to deal with rude patients as a nurse.

I understand how difficult it can be trying to care for someone who treats you rudely or disrespectfully. In this article, I shared 10 tips to help you deal with rude patients as a nurse. While every situation is unique, you can follow these tips when faced with rude patient behavior to help ease the tension and find ways of resolving problems. Remember, although some days are tough, nursing is a career that allows you to make a big impact on others’ lives. Even the simplest gestures, like trying to calm someone who is being rude, could make a difference in ways you may never know.



List Of Sources Used For This Article


1. “What Is Empathy in Nursing? (with Examples, Importance, & Challenges)" (nursingprocess.org)
2. “Nurse Leader Rounding: How to Ask Open-Ended Questions” (University of Utah Health)
3. “30 Top Therapeutic Communication Techniques in Nursing + How to Use Them” (nursingprocess.org)